I was due November 29th, 2015. To be honest, I was terrified of having a baby, I went back and forth and all over the place during pregnancy of wanting the baby, not wanting him to come, feeling scared of how I would feel, wondering if I would like being a mother, and so many other emotions. It made being pregnant pretty easy because I wasn't dying for it to be over. I had an easy pregnancy, some nausea during the first trimester, but nothing extreme (no puking yay!), I just felt like I was constantly eating. Second trimester I did not "get all my energy back!" I actually got terrible headaches that would last for days on end until I would finally take Tylenol and drink a diet coke, that was the only way it would go away. It had to be that combo. Third trimester I got HUGE. I was not one of those, looked so cute and great up until the end, pregnant ladies. I was large and in charge with my belly and I'm sure strangers thought I was crazy for still riding the bus to work every day.
November 29th came and went, November 30th, Dec. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th all passed, and finally on December 8th, I had what felt like my 50th appointment. My doctor really wanted me to be induced if Wesley wasn't here by 42 weeks. I said okay and set an induction date for Sunday (this was on a Tuesday). I had him strip my membranes and Layton and I went for a drive up the Canyon so he could take photos of the old paper mill. While we were driving I thought I felt some contractions but I wasn't sure and didn't want to get my hopes up. He dropped me off at work around 1:30, I got some lunch and while I was eating, that was when I felt what I was pretty sure was a contraction. It was like a strong tightening in my back that was uncomfortable but I was more excited than anything. The contractions kept coming at work, very far apart, but getting more painful and all in my back. Layton picked me up from work and I dropped him off at class. I was afraid of making it home before another contraction hit because they were getting tough and painful.
When I got home I hung out, ate a little bit and just hoped the contractions would keep coming. I told Layton he better ride the train home because I didn't think I could handle a car ride up to get him and back to our house. My contractions were never consistent, but they did continue to get more painful. Around 9:30 we had dinner and decided to go on a walk to hopefully help things continue progressing. I had one really strong contraction while we were out but other than that nothing for a whole half an hour. I was afraid that it was slowing down and wasn't going to happen that night.
We got home around 10, and around 10:30 things really started to pick up. The contractions were all still in my back and they were so painful. I would get on my hands and knees or sit on my yoga ball and roll my hips around through them but they were intense. Every contraction I kept thinking there was no way I could continue without an epidural (my plan had been a natural labor and delivery). They continued to get more intense as the hours went on, especially when I laid down and tried to rest, those were the most painful ones. Around 2am I said I couldn't do it anymore and wanted to go to the hospital. Layton knew I had said that I wanted to labor at home as long as possible and he kept trying to tell me that but all I could think about was how much I wanted to get relief. He finally said okay and started getting his stuff together. I threw up twice before we were finally out the door. Thankfully I only had one contraction right as soon as we got out of the car and only one during the car ride.
We got to the hospital around 2:45. First we had to check into the ob emergency services area and be monitored and see how far I was etc. They checked me and I was at a 3 which was super discouraging because I had been at a 3 at my appointment the day before. The midwife said I was about 80% effaced though which meant that I had still made a lot of progress. She said they would probably have me get up and walk the halls for a while to see if that helped me progress. In my head I was thinking "nooo please, I don't want to get up and walk". They had started monitoring Wesley's heart and they came back and said that he was fine, but his heart rate wasn't 100% reassuring with the accelerations and decelerations they like to see so they said they were going to just admit me so they could monitor him continuously and I could start the antibiotics since I had tested positive for group B strep. I still had to wait another 2 hours before getting checked into the delivery unit because sooo many people were having babies there weren't any rooms or nurses available. I know by this point Layton was exhausted and unsure of how to help me because I had gone against everything I had said I wanted. Layton was there for me doing the best he could, but labor really felt like a solo journey to me and I honestly hope next time he can be more involved in it.
We finally got checked into the delivery area around 4:45/5:00am and about 20 minutes later I got the blessed epidural. My back pain went away immediately but I still felt a ton of pressure in my pelvic floor. As I progressed, the pressure got more and more intense to the point of me still needing to focus and use meditation during contractions because they were so noticeable. During transition especially I would look at the ceiling and follow a line over and over again until the contraction was over. I was hoping to rest once I got the epidural but I had no such luck. When I had checked in around 5:00 I was at about a 4, they checked me again around 7 and I had dilated to a 10! I was so happy that I had progressed so quickly and that I hadn't needed any pitocin or anything.
The urge to push started to come about an hour later and it was so hard not to bear down. The resident checked me and said Wesley's head was still at a -1 in my pelvis and I couldn't start pushing because that would put me at risk for a cesaerean section. Waiting to push was extremely difficult, I wanted to get out of my body so badly every time a contraction came because of the pressure and just wanted to push or do something. I finally got to the point where I couldn't wait anymore and said I was going to start pushing. The resident checked me and she said he had progressed to a +1 and I was okay to start pushing, although they wanted to wait for my doctor to get back (he had stopped by earlier but had needed to go to clinic and would be back when I was about to have Wesley) but I just couldn't wait. I ended up pushing for 45 minutes/1 hour. It was absolutely exhausting. I hadn't slept since Monday night (this was now Wednesday morning) and the contractions and pushing were painful. Between every contraction and during pushes I kept saying, "I can't do it, I can't do this," everyone in the room continued to cheer me on, encourage me and kept telling me "you're doing it!!" I had to have oxygen because Wesley wasn't doing as well as they would have liked. My mom was there holding one leg with the MA, Layton was on the other side with my nurse holding the other and they kept telling me things like "you can see his head! there's so much hair!" At one point my mom showed me how much of his head was showing and boy was that discouraging! I thought way more of him was coming out than actually was.
Finally after nearly an hour, I felt him crowning and that was definitely the most painful part, after I pushed his head out, I wasn't waiting anymore, I gave one last big push and pushed the rest of his body out. It was instantaneous the love, the joy, the ecstasy I felt in that moment. Whereas literally seconds before I had wanted to just be done and never do it again and I pretty much disliked everyone in that room, I felt a euphoria and rush like I had never felt before and instant love for this wonderful little boy. He was so perfect and beautiful and lovely. My mom was able to get the video camera out and film those moments and I was telling everyone how in love I was with them :)
Wesley Martin Checketts came into this world on December 9th, 2015 at 10:23 AM, 7 lbs. 15 oz., 20 inches long. He had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days (that is another blog post entirely, one I'm not sure if I will ever write but most likely will) and boy that was soooo tough. We were finally able to take him home on Dec 13th and be home together as a family.
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| The first night we finally got to have Wesley home with us |
Hey I like your writing and I like you ;) -Layton
ReplyDeleteThanks honey bunches. I like you too ;)
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